We decided to try for a second child and found out a few weeks ago that we are now expecting twins. It wasn't the plan and the life I envisioned with 2 kids is gone and I am certainly mourning it.

I've worked incredibly hard in my career and I may have to give it up due to childcare costs. The campervan which I spent my adult life dreaming of and only bought last year now needs to be sold (Can't fit 3 car seats in it!). We won't be able to afford nice holidays for a while, and I won't be able to take the twins to things like swimming lessons on my own during mat leave like I did with my older child due to safety ratios. All the plans I had made mentally have been destroyed and all I can see is the financial and social impact of our situation.

The worst part is that everyone else is so incredibly excited about it so I have to smile and laugh and make jokes about how I'm going to be the size of a planet and 'they better not find a 3rd one in there or else we will have issues' but inside I just want to cry.

I know everything will work out fine, and I don't doubt the love that I will have for these children and the amazing life we will give them, but I can't pretend I'm happy about the situation right now. It's not the same as having a special needs child, but it's along those lines.