Had the king of idiot douchebag tanks in T9 DF today. As soon as everyone gets in he starts being obnoxious about how he's streaming. He tells everyone like six times and keeps interrupting while everyone else is trying to decide meteor placement. Then he insists he should be the main tank, despite that his stats are much lower than the other tank who had cleared before. Everyone wants to be nice so we all agree.

He pulls Nael but keeps her dead center. When offtank asks him to pull farther out the dude replies "I'm main tank. You worry about your job." It's a sloppy mess and the chariot combo is ugly and no one knows where to go. Then meteors drop and all hell breaks loose because there are 3 melee scrambling to get them outside and we have half the usual area since tank has kept Nael in dead center. People actually manage really well despite, and yet the tank picks on the ninja and tells them they put a meteor too close, when they clearly didn't. I tell him chill, we're still alive so it's fine. The golem meteors drop and he pulls the blue one leaving the green one to pick off everyone one by one. The other tank realizes and tries to fix it but it was too late and we lost too many. Healers go down first, smn raises, then they almost got us back up, but they had almost no mp. We wipe.

someone explains that the main tank should grab green. He argues "that's not how it's usually done" and everyone says uh yeah it is. He gets a condescending attitude and says he'll try it our way but don't be surprised when we wipe. He actually does pull the green, but then proceeds to run it right into the red. Mega-golem destroys party. Tank then blames the healers and starts picking on them. I tell him not to talk shit if he can't even pull correctly and doesn't know the fight. He says dps sucks and me most of all. He says "this dragoon is dealing no damage" despite that my parser had me at top for both runs. He says "ur at the bottom for damage" and the monk in our party tells him it's actually the opposite.

I get into it with him and tell him he's an idiot. Someone says let's stop talking and try to actually win, so we give it a third try. This time the other tank, decided he should be main and pulled before douchetank could argue. Douchetank decides his ego will not be bruised without a tantrum and so they get into a hate battle. Goodtank says wtf stahp, douchetank says "i main" then actually manages to steal hate and get all the melee ravenswiped. He then proceeds to call us all "moron noobs who shouldn't even try coil". We all lol then vote kick him.

The fucked up thing is now I really wish I had followed that stream. He was so inept, oblivious, and full of hubris. He's like Eorzea's version of Michael Scott.