FCC approves net neutrality rules, reclassifies broadband as a utility

Someone I know composed this song to commemorate the occasion: Ballad of the Dingo (to the tune of “Call Me Maybe”) [img]http://i.imgur.com/ipJfIfJ.jpg[/img]

Hello my name is Pai, I'm a real earnest guy, I don't understand tech policy, but that ain't stoppin' me.

Title II is the worst thing, unless you've got a brain, and give proper credit to claims, of widespread monopoly.

Comcast say customers be whorin', Verizon wasted several billion, Nationwide fiber buildout is totes chillin'. (But free market can fix all that, really!)

Hey, I'm Ajit Pai, former Verizon attorney, the big carriers implore me: “screw customers, protect our money!”.

Netflix slow? You're so silly! Just stream in SD, its not like we're a third-world country!

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm Ajit Pai, consumer misery sustains me!

Logic and rationality, don’t concern me, I’m a politician, I just know better than you, baby.

Redefining broadband, I tried to make a stand, a moving target is no way to deploy ever-evolving technology!

But Big Wheelie-T, constantly ignores me, in favor of public commentary, from people 'smarter' than me.

Comcast won't let you cancel service, Verizon is getting nervous, Title II is superfluous! (Really, it'll destroy America!)

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but John Oliver was wrong, the FCC dingo is [i][b]me[/i][/b]!

Its hard to share, the full text rule, you see, by longstanding rule, Big Wheelie-T thwarted me!

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm the dingo, I lust for infant mortality!

Hide your babies, but I shall come and see. My hunger is as great, as my sycophantry.

Before Title II the free market was so fine, it was so fine, it was so-so fine,

Before Title II the free market was so fine, it was so fine, I can't even articulate a single way in which it was so so fine.

Interconnect rot, its just fantasy, those squirrely edge providers, they can’t trick me!

Oh, you can't watch House of Cards, in QHD? Don’t blame your ISP, that’s Netflix’s fault and responsibility!

Title II reclassification, has enraged me. I’ll devour all your young, via lycanthropy.

Outside your house, I’ll be lurking, waiting and yearning, eager and squirming, for the bones of your delicious baby.

Once a Republican is in the White House, I’ll be a shoe-in, to be made chairman, of the FCC.

Hey I just met you, and its just crazy, that an unelected dude like me, was nearly able to slow the progress of humanity!


Commissioner Ajit Pai image from FCC.gov website.

Dingo image by Peripitus (Own work) [http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Peripitus] [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html), CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/) or CC BY-SA 2.5-2.0-1.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5-2.0-1.0)], via Wikimedia Commons.

“Call Me Maybe”, September 20, 2011, written by Carly Rae Jepsen, Josh Ramsay, & Tavish Crowe.

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