I have a lot of trouble with stop once it starts; always afraid they won’t listen or “didn’t hear” me say it, and then the situation can get worse, maybe just in my head. Should you feel scared or bad speaking up, no, absolutely not! I’m working on finding my voice, literally; which also seems stunted during. It’s like not getting them to come out of my mouth even though they’re in my head; suddenly can’t speak at all.

Missionary is the worst, but right now one of two positions I can actually do it in. It makes me feel trapped, and that’s the position I was in during my traumas. I hate to say my SO’s size makes it worse, but he’s a large man and I do get stuck there.