OH LAWDY... don't even get me started.

My grandfather started abusing me when I was 10 years old. 10.

Wanna know when he started this abuse?

The night before my grandmothers funeral. Yep. She had just died. This was ON TOP OF moving countries, not cities, not apartments... countries. Across an ocean 4 months prior.

I had just moved away from everything I knew and loved. I had just come to terms with my parents divorce and only having my mom around.

Then this mother fucker sexually abuses me. Not for a short period of time either. 2 YEARS.

There were gaps inbetween since we did live across the Atlantic sure- but he visited often. We visited him often. Especially because "granny had just died and he was alone."

My mother didn't know. She thought my behaviour was due to moving countries and my grandmothers death. I also hid it.

I hid it because when he was telling me to take off my trousers, lay down on the bed and spread my legs- and I had the guts to say "NO." I kid you not I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. The WAY he looked at me... I realised I was going to be one of those missing kids on the milk carton. I'd be the kid they find 6 months later as bones in the crawlspace or- never again...

I belive in possession. I belive in darker things we don't know how to explain. It's taken me so long to wrap my head around it, how could my grandfather- who was always such a model grandparent and never had done anything like that before do that... to his only grandchild... was it always there all along? I dont think so. I could FEEL him watching me from across the room.

He never spent a day in jail. We never reported- I was disowned by 90% of the family. My uncle doesn't even acknowledge my existence. When we told him- he blocked my mother and I on all social media.

There were photos that he took of me while I was on the bed... naked... those were never recovered.

I have spent 10 years in therapy and I am only 25. I struggle everyday from some effect that man had on me.

I can handle the mental pain, but now, my body is giving out on me. I have Central Sensitivity Syndromes- fybromyalgia, interstitial cystitis, Tenaion and migraine headaches. The right side of my body manifests pain...

I have a life sentence. He cursed me. He got to die after living out the rest of his life peacefully.

The thing that always haunts me is his reaction to my mom confronting him. He said "someone has a very active imagination".

Yeah. Fuck you.