Then why are you here on /r/cptsd?

We are talking about two different things here - fault, and taking responsibility.

None of this is your fault. It fucking sucks, there's plenty of blame to go around, but none of it lands on you. You are who you are because you've been destroyed. The fault lies elsewhere.

But the world is not going to up and change for you. You have to take responsibility for making things better for yourself. You expect things to change by declaring war on the world?

The skill of mindfulness is crucial here, crucial. Dude, mindfulness is not hippy bullshit, it is not unbiased observation that you learned when you were eight. It is the training of two skills: concentration and awareness.

As a CPTSD sufferer, you're in a constant state of being triggered. You're hypervigilant, you're looking for threats everywhere. Your concentration is constantly being activated looking for non-existent threats. And because of that, because you see the world through the lens of pain and hurt, you are completely unaware that you are no longer in any danger.

Mindfulness is the practice of mastering your attention and your awareness. It is very different from meditation, which is the hippy bullshit. Love you neighbour, practice kindness, all that crap. No. Mindfulness is sitting still and practicing putting your awareness on a particular thing, and keeping it there. It is a skll, with scientifically proven benefits. And when you can take your head out of your trauma for long enough, you will start to see that the world is not what you think it is.

It all sucks, it all does. I'm not putting blame on you. I'm saying that things won't improve unless you take responsibility for improving it.

for all I know, you're trying to be one

I'm taking it on faith that you're not simply a troll, how about trying to give me the benefit of the doubt? I see truth in what you've written. You think I haven't driven away my family and my friends with anger, the same anger you're hurling at me, and with the same reckless misunderstanding of social etiquette? I'm putting my time here because I see myself in you. I've been you, but mindfulness got my head out of the fog for long enough to take a breath that wasn't toxic.