Yeah it's unfortunate cause I'm great at what I do, but at the end of the day it takes too much out of me. During my first semester ever a student confided in me that she was getting beat by her dad. I had to report it to CPS, all while flashing back to me being in school getting beat by my dad. See a kid with no lunch? Flashback to when my parents didn't feed me properly. The list goes on...
I'm also very sensitive and sometimes immature in my experience of things, and I struggle to properly play the role of an adult authority figure. As good as I am at connecting with students, it seems crazy to work in an environment that constantly takes me back to what was unfortunately an incredibly abusive and neglectful period in my own life. Perhaps it would be more manageable if I was a bit more healed but who knows. Teachers without CPTSD have a hard enough time with the profession and burn out/quit on the regular, so what does that say about what's in store for me? Lol