I’m the same way. I find many women attractive aesthetically. But I’ve only had a crush on one, and I’m only strongly attracted to a certain type of woman, ie butches.

If our personalities and interests don’t align, though, then I’m no longer attracted. So I feel meh towards most people given how butch lesbians (who are also into femmes) are rare, my interests are niche, and personality is weird.

I also notice that a fair amount of women are passive, which is very unattractive to me. I’m contend with severe social anxiety, but I’ve learned how to assert myself and be more proactive. Otherwise I’d never get what I want. Confidence is key king. I say this not to disparage anyone but to hopefully instill anyone reading this with more courage, myself included.