I would love to lift weights if I weren't so anxious. I need a lifting buddy. But I use to feel exactly like that.. It's difficult to get over people having more sex than you. But what I've realized is that sex is sex, its not a big deal, whether you have it or not. It's an enjoyable pass time that 2(or more) people can do together. Like hiking or swimming. Try to minimize it, it's just sex. It's gonna feel the same (for the most part, though some is better than others). Religon and society made me think sex was so sacred and stupid, and that dick size mattered. That is not true, that's people's way of covering themselves up, trying to help them feel better about themselves. You have to be more selfish, take things for your own. Take that pussy for yourself, make the next woman that takes interest your sex toy for the time being. Sex isn't sacred(maybe to some, but let them be delusional) and it's certainly not what it's cracked up to be. When I lost my virginity, I was disappointed. Fucked 14 times within that day, but it was just fun, that it. It's nothing special. Sex should be laxed and enjoyable, no matter the circumstance, so let it be. It's taken me a while to realize it, but there's really no other way. Unless you like being miserable, which I don't, so I said the hell with it. MINE. I've always been too giving, overly nice, wanting to help others. But no, fuck that. Take the world for yourself, the women for yourself. Everything. Do it for yourself and because you fucking want it. Think logically through both sides then decide which one sounds more enjoyable. Forget being a good person, forget all that shit. Ahh, yes, mania. my old friend..