A journal I wrote in 2011:

Got up super early to get a head start on the day. Went for a jog. It was beautiful outside. There was a light fog and the streets were barren at first. Just me, Bob Marley, and the road.

I tried to jog with some girls but they got scared of me (I think it's because I haven't shaved).

Later on in the morning I noticed a small black beetle crawling on my arm and absent-mindedly brushed him onto the floor. Shortly after that the poor little guy managed to get back onto my wrist somehow. I decided I didn't mind having company and have subsequently lost track of him. I'm the kinda guy that just laughs when flies land on me. I think it tickles.

At the library I serendipitously ended up reading 'Metamorphosis', by Franz Kafka. It struck true somewhere in me. I realized that it doesn't matter how virtuous or sincere your mind and intentions are if you can't or don't use the faculties necessary to fill the spaces between you and the ones you love... they will find you repulsive and leave. Or worse, suffer in your midst. Worst of all you'll die inside. It doesn't matter how bizarre or unfair your predicament. The world stops for no one. And the people in it are terribly frightened. They will run over you without hesitation. And maybe, just maybe your holding them back too...

I also decided that embracing your impediments is not enough. USE them. Gregor could have easily paid for his sister's schooling as the worlds first giant intelligent cockroach. Do not give in to despair! Do not be complacent! And for everyone's sake try not to freak out the people you Love without reason.

Ultimately the most hideous bug can keep somebody happy if it is persistent. And they like bugs.

Just hang on and do you.

If somebody gets frightened or knocks you down climb right back up. And if you really love them, and their just not into you... don't just wait and die a little more each day til' someone gets tired and squashes your heart. Move on.

Damn but moving on does get tiresome...