Getting my life back on track is making me appear like I'm 'better' to everyone in my life, but internally I'm struggling more than ever

I think that following their dreams for me instead of my own is what is pushing me into this hole. I feel like I'm just working myself toward another crash.

This is definitely possible. Feeling out of control of your life is literally a symptom of depression, as well as a cause. Biologically speaking, feeling out of control causes your testosterone and serotonin to become lower, which is implicated in depression for both—testosterone, especially.

So, you have a few options to feel better. You can do the obvious and change your major, in order to reclaim control. And/or you can do other things that help you feel in control in order to compensate. And/or you can boost the neurochemicals/hormones that are lowered by feeling out of control. The last two suggestions are basically the same in different words, really. Anything you do to feel more in control will affect those neurochemicals/hormones, and you if boost them you will feel more in control.

I hope I'm making sense. I've just come back from a workout and I haven't eaten yet and my blood sugar is pretty low.

Two great things for restoring those neurochemical/hormonal balance are exercise and time in nature. You say you're playing sports, which is a good thing in this regard. But you have to win more often than you lose, because winning boosts testosterone, but losing reduces it. Interestingly, the same thing happens when you are a spectator and the team you're rooting for wins or loses (but to a lesser extent). So, fill your life with little victories. Also, help others, because that is a fantastic way to make you feel better about yourself and more in control of your own life.

If you want to know more about how your life choices affect your health, check out the book Mind Over Medicine. There's also a TED talk by the author that's fairly interesting.

/r/DecidingToBeBetter Thread