3. A girl I met on a dating website, whom I've never seen in real life told me she ...

A girl I met on a dating website, whom I've never seen in real life told me she was raped. She does not want to go to the cops. What do I do?

Throwaway account.

This story has made me sick and I don't know what to do. I "met" her on a dating site a month ago. She lives in another city. Even though we had never met, or even talked on the phone, after about a month of close communication via Facebook messages, we fell for each other. We had made plans to meet in person in a week's time.

She was raped by a trusted "friend" not once but a few times. She lives in another city. Obviously, I was shocked, but I tried to remain calm. I am the only person she has told me, she hasn't even told her own family. She says she's not thinking of telling them either because "they would freak."

She had told me earlier that she had sex with someone but that she didn't want to. After we talked for some more and started getting close, I pressed her to telly me exactly what happened, because this is obviously VERY worrying. That's when she reluctantly told me that her "friend" (whom she likes a lot she added), overpowered her and had sex with her in spite of the fact that she repeatedly told him no. That is rape by any definition. She told me that she later realized that. Remember that this is all via Facebook messages.

I am shocked and freaking out, but I remain calm. I told her to tell the police so that the sick fuck may be locked up. Now here's where the story gets really confusing and fucked.

She doesn't want to do that. The reason being that she likes the guy; that they hang out and that he makes her feel wanted and special. She later adds that she doesn't sleep with him anymore, that she will never do, and that if he tries anything, she will scream and fight back. She is blaming herself for the previous rapes, because she never physically resisted enough or yelled, that she only said no. She also says that they are still friends. WTF?! I told her how fucked up this is and how he's manipulating her, and that he's pure evil.

In spite of my pleas, she absolutely refuses to go the cops. She also refuses to tell anyone else about this. I told her that I could help to leave a police report, that I understand it's hard and that I'll be with her every step of the way. She refused.

I told her that I can't let this go, this is a serious criminal offense. This all ended in her unfriending me and effectively ending the relationship we had built up. She said we needed to go our separate ways.

So here I am, completely conflicted and confused, seething with anger and hurt.

I have the messages on Facebook. I am considering perhaps taking screenshots and sending them to the cops myself.

Yet it also feels so wrong because she does not want that. Yet, me having this knowledge, and ignoring it, also feels so wrong. A fucking rapist is walking free. It angers me and is making me lose my mind.

What do I do? We have stopped talking because of my insistence. Should I go ahead with my plan, but tell her I'm gonna contact law enforcement, or do I just listen to her wishes, forget everything and move on? Please help, Reddit. Thanks

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