Holy hell, are you me?
I started dating this amazing girl about 9 years younger than me (at the time she was 19, I was 28). I was also over 300 pounds at the time and she was very petite, which I love.
Anyways, I wanted to look good for her and she inspired me to start working out and not being a fat shit. Over the course of our relationship I lost about 90 pounds. I finally was able to fit back into all of the nice clothes I had grown too fat to wear. Women were flirting with me and smiling at me more. The ones who knew me when I was fat were amazed at how handsome I had become and they weren't afraid to tell me about it. This was both good and bad.
My ego got HUGE. I mean, just imagine this; When you are fat as fuck, nobody notices you. People go out of their way to not look at you. The cashier at the grocery store won't look at you, if you smile at a girl on the street or at the bar you are immediately labeled a "creep" (I fucking hate that word). Then you undergo this transformation where you are finally getting fit, lose tons of weight and have more energy than ever. Women start flirting with you and it's so easy for that to go straight to your head.
Anyways, while I was losing weight, my (now) ex had gained some. A lot of this was due to her breasts growing from a B cup to a DD. She used to run a lot but with huge boobs she said it hurt too much. So she gained probably 30 pounds or so.
Toss in me being a total idiot and bringing up the weight issue a few times when I was drunk, totally taking her for granted and it's over. She was the greatest thing that had ever happened to me and I still have this thought in the back of my mind that I can get her back. I need to be clear, I never cheated on her. I did hit on a lot of girls though, girls we were both friends with. Not smart or cool.
I have been with some very beautiful women over the years, and now that I'm 30, I have kind of lost interest in the whole pickup game. It's just too much work at this point. I don't care about one night stands, I just want my ex back.
The things I thought that were such a huge problem when we were dating are now trivial to me. My only real issue is that she was very needy and clingy. She spent almost every night at my place and when I told her I need a few days a week to myself, she got offended.
I'm certain I'm bipolar but I don't have the resources to get diagnosed and medicated.
If I could just go back in time one year, I would slap the shit out of myself and fix everything, but I can't.