Thanks Pola_Xray,

I've already failed. In a sense. My divorce was 15 years ago, and my daughter is 15. I was just naive and young. When I signed the divorce decree, there wasn't a visitation schedule with it. I never imagined my ex wouldn't let me see our daughter.

What followed was drug use to start which is my fault. Well, just weed. Something to numb the pain of losing a family. Quit that after a year, and fought to see my daughter. That took 2 years. Once I finally got visitation, my ex moved 1200 miles away. I followed, and 7 states later, I'm here in good ol Utah.

I was able to connect with my daughter, and build a relationship. Sadly though, she's become an angsty teen, and has taken up the notion that I am abusive. She's been convinced. Another lie, another derailment. But now it's my daughter alienating me. She was even just helped in doing so by her councilor who bought my ex's spiel, hook, line, and sinker. Kinda hard not to I suppose when backed by my daughter who's got a wildly distorted view.

So here I sit giving advice to u/dbthrowedaway3 in the hopes that he can start off on the right foot. Obviously, he doesn't have the same history as me, the same ex, or the same kid/s. But the starting point of Divorce is all the same. Despite how horrible my ex was during and after our marriage. I honestly believe that if she had to do it again, she'd have worked with me. It's been hell on her too. My unrelenting perseverance has taken it's toll.

So yep, the starting point is the same. Just working with your ex for the sake of the children is where it's at. Both parents can avoid my story. For that matter, so can the kids.

For whatever that's worth.

Cheers!