I would be house shopping pronto. Shared walls suck. My neighbours were asses with high sex drives. I nearly downloaded a recording of an audience clapping and cheering to play loudly when they finished because I was so frustrated at how loud they were. And that was when they were presumably horizontal. When they got vertical, the cement shoes came out.

You can't change inconsiderate upstairs neighbours.

If you insist on staying in this horrid place to live, I would get a decibel meter and actually document noise levels with a clock and a video using it for submission to the HOA for hearing and fines. Document leaving the evidence for her and giving her a chance to remedy it. Send photos via certified mail if she refuses to answer the door and document this yourself. You shouldn't need a police report to handle a noise dispute between shared walls.

Importantly, don't stockpile and dump this all at once. Send each complaint individually with the evidence, night by night. Make them respond to each one. They should be aware that this is pretty much an emergency issue at this point.

Check local ordinance for the words "reasonable enjoyment." Go from there.