Gotta catch that bus!

kinda soft and fluffy usually, especially after they've broken most of their bones flying into 'nothing' at high speed

The pigeons would leave perfect outlines like dust had come out of their feathers on impact with the window, and you could see the outlines of the feathers, and their spread at the time of impact, and you could see their 'profile' and their head slammed into the window and although I looked, I couldn't really make out the expression on the 'pigeon-O-graph'

And then I'd make that glass invisible again, and come back in three months. The funny bit is it's this fuckin HUGE hospital in Sydney (Weastmead) and it has 3 levels of these 'walkways with "clear sides" that join the buildings, and although it's actually overlooking beautiful gardens, there's about 12 of these bridges and a whole heap of pigeon shit at that place

In fact, funny story ... I'm at Weastmead hosp maintenance office, getting the keys to go on the roof, and as the dude gives me the keys I thought he said "Oh, and *watch out for the Plumber!"

Hmmm? I think, WTF's the Plumber up to? Anyway, I'm doing pressure cleaning and I've just set up my high power water pistol, when thwapp! something hits me in the back of the head and as I look up I see this bit bigger than a big seagull sized white with yellow bird on the fuckin warpath for my arse! as it came in again and swooped me like it meant some *serious *business!

For the first swoop i was unawares and for the second I was half stunned for a variety of reasons, not the least that "the plumber" was in fact a freaking nesting PLOVER! A lovely bird, aesthetically pleasing but with the nature and tenacity of a velicoraptor that currently had MY arse in it's sights ..... and then, I remembered .. .

In my right hand was La Water Pistola From Hell, with 40,000lbs of squiggly spray ..... and now as the Plover was coming back in for another strafing run and this time he was ALL lined up (and these mofo's fly fast, Really Fast!) and coming in from 1 O'clock at a high rate of bird speed, I did all that was left for me to do .... which was to twitch my RH index finger as I had 'automatically raise the barrel' of my 'water pistola' ..... and my finger twitched, and I swear that motherfucking plover had no fucking idea what just happened, but it caused the vehicle to leave the sky, although it quickly recovered and returned to 'orbiting me' ... I quickly sussed out where the eggs were, and left him alone and he left me alone, and we had a frinedly few weeks,I even got to see the kids!

TL:RD "be careful, the plumbers up there!"

/r/WTF Thread Link -