Doubt anyone will actually read this but in single because anytime I am happy with a relationship I fall back on the logic that anyone happy with me is not really worth my time and convince myself We would both be better off without the relationship. I've dated a few amazing women way way out of my league in both looks and personality and my thinking always eventually turns to the same; "I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A MEMBER." To quote Groucho Marx. I don't ever want kids and a relationship lasting more than a few months is very rare. I enjoy my bachelor life plenty but at times I wish I had a rock.out of 60+ women I've dated I've found two I could see building a lasting relationship with two and I pretty much burned any chance at that panning out since I don't talk to the one anymore after spouting my true unshared feelings to her (she assumed I chose my lifestyle due to enjoying the constant change and variety and didn't want anything more than casual fun and drunk me was clear on my stance). The other was the first girl I truly dated and she's happy with being back with her ex she was with before me even if he blows her off and ignores her for long periods of time.

Honestly in another 5 years I expect my friends to realize I'm like Ted mosby minus the wish of kids. I dream of actually having a fulfilling relationship that persists for years and not the revolving door of women that is my life.

First dates are always fun, seconds and thirds even better sometimes, after 30 or so of them it just gets tiring and now I find I costanza every relationship. I immediately assume it won't last and look for a reason to ditch it and pin the blame elsewhere. I try to avoid that but it won't happen.