I couldn’t push aside was the feeling of anger. It wasn’t the anger at someone who did you wrong, not the anger you felt at being not worthy. It was anger in a raw, untouched way. Anger at injustice, yet justice too. Anger that had neither end nor beginning, anger that overrode any other feeling. Anger that poured over me, and made me into its servant. I was to do anything that I was told in the name of anger. The part that terrified me most didn’t come from the attack of hate, no. It was the tiny part of me that, in the moment, wanted everyone to feel what I did. Where instead of wishing no one else would need to feel what I did, I hoped the opposite. Why me? Did everyone else have a reason to not need to feel it? What made me so unlucky? Why shouldn’t everyone else feel it? I shook the thoughts away, knowing that the next one was something that no one should ever think. And yet it forced it’s way up. Everyone deserves to feel the hatred, the anger, the pain and torment I did. I was shocked. How could I have possibly thought such a horrible thing? I tried to reason with myself, to tell the innocent part of me that I had good intentions with that thought. If everyone felt it, maybe there would be no more of those feelings towards each other? Was that what I had really wanted? Of course it was! But I was afraid that somewhere, a tiny part of me thought otherwise. I pushed those intruding thoughts out of my head, once and for all. I had more important things to do.

I snacked on a few pistachios, hoping it would help me focus. As I was eating them, I realised how hungry I truly was. I saw my bike where I had left it chained to a tree, so I unlocked it while I thought. I looked upwards to locate any major exits of the park. In the distance, there was a small playground, consisting of a swing set and slide, with 4 children playing at. To the left of it, a winding bicycle path lead out of the wooded area. Every other direction was surrounded by trees. The longer I stayed, the more claustrophobic I felt. The trees leant over me, closing around me in every direction. They accused me for my dream, my thoughts. I knew it was just my imagination, but I felt threatened. I had to get as far away as possible, as when I looked around, everything reminded me of my night from hell. I set out towards the path, riding slowly on stiff joints. Finding a rhythm that allowed me to progress, I made it out of the park and into a bustling city. Noise enveloped me from every direction. Car engines, horns, people talking and yelling, I was surprised I hadn’t heard it from inside the park. Overwhelmed and confused, I took refuge in a quiet back alley to collect my thoughts. Pulling out my phone, I was frustrated to see it had a mere 17% battery charge left on it. Why would I bring the charger when I was only going to be out for a day? But then again, there was nowhere to recharge it in this damp, dark alleyway. As much as I would have liked to have turned my back on the distracting traffic, this ally didn’t offer much in the way of homeliness. I mounted my bike and once more and kept an eye out for any stores or businesses that would assist me. On approaching the entrance to a nearby fast food restaurant, three people stared at me and gave me a wide berth. Strange. I probably looked like I hadn’t showered; not that I had showered, but it was still quite rude of them. Once inside, I flicked through a newspaper sitting at a table. It seemed that today, March 12, was quite an eventful one for journalists. Story after story of crimes and acts of terror; this was not a friendly town. It was sickening to see some of the things that had been happening. I saw that none of these acts were justified, from burglaries to murders, now knowing what it truly means to hate. For a moment, I was trapped in my mind, flashes of Hate drifting through me. I’m not sure how long I was held captive, but the next thing I knew, there was a boy standing in front of me. Dazed, I struggled to make out what he was saying to me. Eventually, the noises coming from his mouth sharpened into words, intelligible after a moment’s thought. “Ma’am, are you okay?” He asked. I muttered in a vaguely affirmative manner. “Um, miss, I need to ask you to leave.” I looked towards his face, and saw he was not too much older than I was. “Why?” “Um, we have had some people saying they don’t feel comfortable around you.” I frowned. “Not that I think you did anything wrong!” He blurted quickly, and swallowed heavily. “S-sorry, I didn’t mean to… What did I do?” “Please, I’m not sure, ma’am. I am just following my manager’s instructions!” Was he frightened? Why? “Ah, sure. I guess I will be leaving then.” A look of relief flowed over the boy’s face. A glance at his badge revealed his name was Adrian. “Uh, Adrian, may I take this newspaper with me? I would like to keep some of the articles.” He stepped back, and waved it towards me hurriedly. “Yes, sure. Of course you can, whatever you want, miss!” He spluttered. Okay, this is seriously weird. “Um, bye, I guess.” I slowly left, taking notice of Adrian’s pitiful expression as he shook his head and walked away.

I tried to deduce I had done to receive that treatment. A moment of thought lead me to the conclusion that, due to there being large amounts of criminal activity in the area, everyone must be on high alert. I was loitering, I didn’t buy anything, and I was probably staring into space. Yes, that was it. Accompanied with the fact that I am cursed with having a face that looks angry when at rest, there was no reason for the workers to not be slightly suspicious. Well, that was stupid. I will have to be more careful next time. Realising I had no clue where I was, or what the name of this city was, I decided it would be a good idea to take a look out for something like a travel agency, a train station, maybe a mall, or a shop of some kind? I walked for a few more minutes before coming across a post office. Perfect! As I wandered in, the lady behind the counter stopped what she was doing and stood really still. Did I really look that bad after only a night without a home? Oh well, there were more pressing matters at hand. I walked over to her, trying to look casual. “Excuse me, ma’am, I was just wondering if you had a map of the area? I’m not from here, and I am quite lost.” I asked with a polite smile. “Yes, yes, of course, miss!” The lady answered, no longer staring. She plastered an obviously false grin across her face and moved to locate a map. She ducked into a back storage room, hidden from my view. While waiting for her to return, a variety of bright postcards caught my eye. No landmarks or place names, unfortunately, just generic scenes. The lady would be back soon, though, so no matter. I went to place the postcards back, when one caught my eye.

AN// Okay so this is the first draft for an idea of a novel I have. These are the first two chapters. I know this is my own prompt, but I just wanted to see what others thought, given the premise. Please give me feedback; this is only an early draft, however I want to know what you think!

Thanks!