I'm so sorry this happened. I'm sorry you're feeling unsupported. And I'm sorry that missing 110 hours in the middle of a new baby and a husband in a car accident could even potentially cost you your job. It's just despicable. In general, America needs to step up it's parental leave and the support for working parents. We have no patience, no help and are constantly asking more of workers for nothing in return. We already don't have universal healthcare, see stagnating wages, and are watching daycare costs rise at unprecedented rates.
One of my friends had to return to work after only six weeks and because of the area we live in, most daycares are only open Monday thru Thursday (why?! WHY?!). So she had to move to part-time to take Fridays off because there were no daycares with Fridays available.
I became a SAHM because in truth, I don't know how my husband and I could've worked it. Before, I was working 60 hours a week. I would have to come in on weekends with minimal notice (like the day before). I only had two sick days allowed and three weeks of vacation that needed a month in advance approval. My husband is a doctor who basically gets zero sick days and only two weeks vacation with previous notice and approval. He literally worked an eight hour shift while I was in labor with my first. He walked in twenty minutes before the birth and if our baby would've come sooner, he just would've missed the birth. Lucky he worked at the hospital! And literally the only reason he made it to our seconds birth was due to the fact that he asked for that week off, hoping the baby would come that week. Having a sick baby for a week? I don't know how we could've swung it with only two sick days between us. We expect far too much of parents with young children trying to work.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's not fair. And mother's get the brunt of these decisions both at work and at home. I hope America can turn it around and start supporting those who most need it, not those at the top.
You are a strong, amazing woman and an impressive worker. You are a great mother. You can do this. Don't let this one year and one review bring you down. You are worth so much more than this. You can do it. Hugs!!