Things I trust more than Hillary Clinton:

• A blind date with a woman named Caitlyn • Mexican tap water • A mixed drink served by Bill Cosby • A wolverine with a ‘pet me’ sign • OJ Simpson showing me his knife collection • An elevator ride with Ray Rice • Browns going to the Super Bowl • Brian Williams memory • Pete Carroll coaching decisions • Loch Ness monster sightings • Pinocchio • The Boy that cried Wolf • A snapping turtle in a mud bath • A Nigerian inheritance email • A pilot alone in the cockpit • German co-pilots • A factory packed parachute • A test fart in bed with the flu • Tying Anthony Weiner’s shoes • Harry Reid’s exercise equipment • A kiss from Judas • An Afghan wearing a backpack • A Dana White apology • Keeping my healthcare plan • A North Korean trial • A BIC pen that won’t leak • A tuna fish sandwich left on a city bus • Michael Jackson's Doctor • An Obama Nuclear deal with Iran • A Palestinian on a motorcycle • Gas station Sushi • A Jimmy Carter economic plan • Brian Williams' news reports • Prayers for peace from Al Sharpton • Bill Clinton supervising a female intern sleepover • Chicago politicians • Jailed former Illinois Gov Rod Blagojevich (D) • Barack HUSSEIN Obama • Debbie Wasserman-Schultz's hairdresser • Bill Clinton • John Kerry's negotiation skills • Iran’s Mullahs not to seek a nuclear weapon • Duggar birth control plan • Joe Biden with his arm around me • Michael Moore with the doughnuts • Bernie Madoff managing ALL my investments • A dinner date with Hannibal Lecter / Jeffrey Dahmer