I end up deciding on my drive home that I should just try to message Lucy, in order to clear up whether or not I am fucking insane or this feeling was felt between the two of us. Sober me knows that no sort of relationship will or should ever come from this experience, and that we were both extremely fucked up, but I really want to know if I’m fucking insane or that actually happened. I message her at about noon, asking if we could meet up and discuss what happened. This is extremely hard for me to message her about, because I know it almost betrays my friend, me being his best friend, and her being his girlfriend. Us meeting is obviously very fucking sketchy appearing from his perspective, however I almost feel like this needs to be done in order to confirm my own sanity.

She responds to me asking her to meet up and discuss what happened face to face. She says she really wants to discuss it, and that it will make us both feel better. I want to do most of our talking face to face in order to remove any sort of confusion that would surely happen while trying to type out my recollection of the whole event to her. Yet, I try to ask her if she “Felt that” that night. She responds asking what I mean, goes on to say she was living in 2 or 3 different realities that night and she’s still not sure which one took place. She still isn’t sure what actually happened and that there is still a whole bunch of stuff she wants to talk about. I respond by saying how I want to discuss the majority of this in person, yet I felt this very fucking deep feeling with her throughout the trip. She responds by saying how fucked up we all were, and how she is very grateful I was there for her during it. She says she understands why her boyfriend Carl couldn’t be there with her as she was looping, yet she’s glad it was me because she didn’t want him seeing her like that. She’s unsure as to what even happened to Carl that night, and she “got like three different explanations and is horrified at the thought of one of them being true.” We talk slightly a bit more through messenger and agree to wait a day before discussing it. I try to get across to her the idea that this discussion will be weird, and that it should all be taken with a grain of salt due to what we were on. Truthfully, sober me is not really attracted to this girl, and I completely respect this boundary in place between myself and my best friend’s girlfriend.

The next day she messages me, stating she will be hanging out with Carl that day, and that she would like to meet with me prior to seeing Carl. However, I wake up late that day, and my phone was dead from the night prior. I don’t see the text until about noon; by the time I respond it is 1 o’clock. My message asks her if she’s still free today to discuss what happened. She doesn’t check the message by about 4 o’clock, and by then Carl asks me to come hang out with him and Lucy. I am sort of undecided as to whether I should show up, but some shit happens at my house and I need to get out of there. I show up and we all hang out as a group. I feel as though all of us still have a lot to say about the trip. We hardly talk about it, and I almost don’t talk about it on purpose. I know anything I say could really fuck up my relationship between me and my friend, along with his relationship with Lucy. As the three of us are hanging out, Lucy mentions having to leave at about 9 because she wants to be home by 11. I know her house is about 30 minutes away from where we’re at, and take that as a cue to us meeting after 9. I agree that I should probably leave about that same time. When I say this Lucy chimes in “Yeah…yeah,” almost confirming this meet up afterwards. However, as the day progresses, I end up having to head home around 8, sort of fucking up that plan.

I wake up today checking to see if Lucy has responded to my previous message from the day prior. She still hasn’t viewed it for some reason. She asks me how I’m feeling at about 5 pm today. I tell her I’m feeling okay, but would still like to get this shit out in the open. She tells me she’s actually doing worse than she was the day prior. She’s been reading about her looping experience stuff and it’s put her into a funk all day. I ask her if she would like to meet with me today and discuss it, she agrees. I try to set up a time we can meet, accompanied by a time that would work for both of us. She says she’ll be free at 8. I ask her where at works for her, and she actually changes her mind. She says she’s having an issue with this whole thing. She doesn’t want to meet with just me in private to discuss what happened. She offers me her phone number and says I can call her if I want to talk about what happened, however she feels like she has something good going with Carl and doesn’t want to fuck it up by meeting up with me in person behind his back.

I understand this completely and try to explain to her that I really felt weird originally even asking to meet, and that I only asked in order to try to make myself feel better. However, I understand that may have been slightly selfish of a thing to do and that it may be best to just leave it. I tell her I’ll try to sort it out on my own, and that I appreciate her offering me her time and being willing to listen to me.

This is where I currently am. I feel as though in my head, I know exactly what happened that night, and it was felt from the two of us. I understand that nothing can happen between the two of us. I honestly am not very attracted to this girl, and view her exactly for what she is, my friend’s girlfriend. Yet, I still am questioning my own mental clarity as to whether or not that feeling was felt from both of us, like I so strongly believe. If it was, I guess that simply means nothing will happen and I could maybe discuss it with her in order to possibly connect some of the dots from that night. If it wasn’t, I am now stuck in this weird, almost creepy position, where I totally felt this strong connection to my buddy’s girlfriend, despite her not having it too. It sounds selfish, however I truly hope my first assumption was correct because it would make me feel less insane. At the same time, as I type this out it almost makes me feel even more stupid hoping for that option. Anyways, as I currently stand I am stuck, not sure what to do next, and feeling as though any next step could fuck everything up. I suppose I will choose to just leave it be, unsure as to what was felt really. Kind of looking for answers that can be drawn from all of this, along with suggestions as to what to do moving forward.

Note: I originally posted this thread in r/relationships however someone suggested I try here since you guys will have a ton more experience in terms of the role that LSD played in this and that could help answer some of my questions.

Also, someone mentioned in my previous thread that I claim I am not attracted to Lucy, yet I did match with her on tinder. The thing is, when I actually met her in person the first time I'd realized her pictures did not accurately portray her real life looks.

TL;DR; crazy night on acid with my buddies and my buddy's girlfriend. Many weird signals, unsure as to what it all meant, and where to go from here on out.