I'm dumb. This is what I linked him. Somehow I didn't think he would look through the rest of that subreddit and find my post. I just wanted him to know why I thought this could be in his best interest.

Yeah, I wan't quite over him when we first broke up. But I knew it had to be done because we argued constantly and I couldn't take it anymore. Even he called it toxic. I thought we could still be friends, which is a mistake I now realize, because it doesn't let you move on. Ironically, he seemed to want to go no contact at first, and after reaching out a couple times (the letter was an apology of sorts, but remained firm in how things needed to end; sending it, I see now, was perhaps also a mistake) I finally backed off. And yeah I was sad, but also relieved. I felt better and more focused and realized more clearly how irresponsible the relationship made me in work, school and family (and it got pretty bad, but I stupidly didn't do anything about it during the relationship). I just want to get my things back on track and focus on school right now. Soon after I felt ready to move on, he re-initiated contact and that's where my original post picks up.

We literally talk for hours and text constantly. I think I've only hung up once, and I immediately called back because I knew how that would affect him. Here he says I can block him, but when I first mentioned doing this, he said maybe he would just kill himself then. He took it back almost immediately, but it does leave me uneasy to do that now. Worrying over him is one of my main reasons on why it's hard to go no contact.