How to make "funny" observations into "haha funny" jokes?

You're just scraping the surface of what's in there. Take your theatre glass little bit, you could have a lot more and make it more conversational.

So I was bored with nothing to do and went to see that slightly new movie. First thing I'm greeted with is a giant bullet proof window. What are they holding back there? Tickets? I get protecting the employees, but there's no criminal that's going to need a gun for this heist. What's he gonna do? Wear a hoodie and slide them a note "I've got a gun, just give me two tickets to current movie (a kid movie might be funnier here) and no one will get hurt." Even if that works they're gonna get caught. The cops are gonna be questioning them like "do you know where the suspect could have gone?" And they'd be like "oh yeah. Theatre #7 G13, better hurry movie gets out in 15 minutes, 18 if they stick around for the post credit scene." it's an open and shut case. How else are they gonna get in without paying? Maybe wait five minutes for the 16 year old tearing tickets to get distracted by a cute girl and just walk in? Even if they're caught doing that the punishment is nothing "Hey! Where do you think you're going?" "Oh is this not the way to the bathroom? My bad." These people have trust issues. I go into my bank and it's just open counters, I ask for $20 and I can see they've got thousands sitting in the drawer. Hell every time I go in the vault is just wide open, not even an old security guard sitting near it trying not to nod off. Just open like "alright everyone, were on the honor system today"... But yeah, protect the movie tickets.

/r/Standup Thread