Please don’t take this the wrong way, but since you’ve never done it, how can you possibly know what it is and what it should be? Why ‘should’ it be anything at all? Should it be the same thing every time? Should it always be deep and sincere and magical and loving, even in a long long relationship? I think we all - no I don’t, wait - many of us think like that until we get some experience, and then we learn that some times it’s deep and loving and bonding and beautiful, and some times it’s not. Some times it’s just a quick release. Some times it can be selfish and even ugly. Some times it’s wild, then other times it’s mellow. Some times it’s difficult, or easy, maybe even painful, or sloppy, or inconvenient, or hilarious, it’s a big, many faceted ‘thing’ and it’s frankly preposterous to assume that you can imagine what a sexlife is before you have one. I’m not trying to tell you that you should give up on finding the right one(s) to make love to, but don’t think that sex is always about making love, even in a loving relationship. That’s as wrong as thinking it’s only about making babies. I think you’re both over- and underestimating it. Sex is great, it’s fun, and love is absolutely one of the things that can make it even better, but so is practice. You get better at it. You’ll have sex hundreds of times, and I hope you’ll love it as much as I do.