I’ve had a similar experience. I was 19(m) at the time and he was 24(m). We worked together and i asked him out, not knowing if he was even into dudes.

He was, it turned into a real thing, for a short time. I fell harder than I thought was possible, he was the first person I really /loved/, but low and behold before the end of our time together he was seeing another guy and I had to figure that out without him being man enough to tell me himself. Long story short, I never got the closure I thought I needed. This really affected me for some years, sadly. But I learned that closure isn’t something you necessarily need to get from someone else.

I don’t think closure always comes in the form of one instant. You can get closure on your own, by making little choices each day to put your mind and energy into things thatre good for you, instead of dwelling on the past. It takes time, but the good news is that time does help, as long as you’re making the effort to move on. In essence, you can’t control how people act, you can only control how you react.

A comfort that helped me throughout my rougher early 20s in general was knowing that everything is temporary. If you see that in a good light, it helps with a lot of harsh times. Hope you heal well and quicker than most.