That really sucks, OP. If it makes you feel any better this kind of thing happens quite often, to many people.

I feel like interviews are often very much about the human side of who you are and what you'd be like to work with. On top of assessing if you're competent and can do the job well, the interviewers also want to know if they like you and if you'd be a good fit.

Though, I think the shitty reality is that women are often judged more based on appearance / attractiveness. I used to work at a startup in tech that was male-dominated with a team that was not very professional. Whenever they had female candidates or had just hired a woman the guys on the team would find her on social media and openly talk about her appearance - if she was pretty, athletic, looked young, etc.

They didn't ever do this with male candidates and the fact that they did it at all made me feel super uncomfortable, weird, and self-conscious. It also made me feel like a big part of my professional "worth" was in my appearance which is just not true at all.

I've come to realize that when it comes to finding and interviewing for jobs, so many factors are at play. A lot of the time, we can't really help the fact that the interviewers have biases or certain qualities they're looking for in a person.

What we can control is our own abilities and how we come across. If you have the time and the means, it helps to always be trying to level up your own skills and improve your knowledge of your industry. Work on side projects related to what you do or volunteer your time if you work in something that lends itself to volunteering. Read books, articles, and follow other professionals online that are amazing and do the same kind of work you do so you can learn from them. It's hard for them to ignore someone that is amazing at what they do.

For interviews, you can also wear clothes that you love and feel cute in or show off your style. I usually put on makeup because I feel pretty in it and it makes me feel more confident. Obviously it doesn't have to be makeup, it could be anything you wear or do that helps make you feel confident and happy.

Creating rapport with someone you just met is also a hard skill to learn, but it helps if you can be charming or friendly. I tend to smile, make small talk at the beginning of interviews if appropriate, and just be very open and honest when answering questions.

I also make it a point to thank interviewers afterwards in an email for their time and candor, and also for answering my questions about the job and company. Usually I'll refer to my notes and bring up something specific that they mentioned that seemed important to show I understand / agree / was paying attention.

It's really competitive out there but doing these kinds of things can help give you an edge and make you stand out.