Many people ask this question because it is difficult at times to describe exactly what love is.

Some say it is ‘‘ an intense feeling of two people for each other involving bodily, emotional, and intellectual identification so intense as to cause each to forget and forgo his own personality demands and his aspirations in favor of the other in order to gain satisfaction through creating a personal and social identity in those involved.” (T. Peter Omari Ph. D.)That is to say, when you love someone you develop this deep feeling for the person, you come to want to share your heart and your life with that special person, so much that you sometimes forget yourself and do things for that person which you would not ordinarily do for other people, and you make sacrifices for that person, and always look to make the other person happy.

Other people see it as a kind of thirst or desire which you just can’t do anything about because it takes over your soul and your body, controls your thoughts and your thinking patterns, is like ‘‘magic” which controls you and transports you to a magical world.

Still others see being in love as a deep attachment for a partner so that the person becomes a unique person in your eyes, and you have this affection, devotion, and strong fondness for the person, so that you always desire to be near that person. There is also a strong tendency to want to take care of the person, to satisfy their needs, to respect the person, and to want the best for him or her.

The Characteristics of Love

Love has got certain characteristics which must show when you claim to love someone.

1.

*Love is Kind * When you claim to love someone, you show kindness towards the person. You will always desire to be generous to that loved one, sympathetic to his or her concerns, considerate of how your actions will affect the person, and thoughtful of the person. This kindness continues even when that person has treated you unjustly.

When you say kind things to the person you love, and do nice things for that one to make the person happy, you are showing love to the person.

2.

*Love is Not Proud * Love is never boastful. It does not have inflated ideas of its own importance. When you love someone, you do not think that you are more important than that person, and look down on him or her.

3.

*Love Behaves Properly * If you really love your partner, you will behave well towards that person. You will watch the words you use to address the person, and make sure your speech is devoid of insults, swearing, and language which will seek to cast a slur on the person or character of the one you love. In other words, you will strive to use polite language always when communicating with your lover.

4.

*Love is Not Selfish * Love does not insist on having its own way—it is not stubborn and self-willed. When you love someone, you do not have the attitude which says in effect ‘‘I want what I want, when I want it, and don’t want you interfering with me. Give me what I want and I will be happy, but I don’t care whether what I want will cause you pain at this time.’’ You think less about your own rights, and more about your duties and how you can make the other person happy.

5.

*Love is Not Easily Provoked * Love does not flare up at the slightest provocation. Some people get provoked at the slightest things. Some believe that you have to “clear it off your chest” and get it out of your system, but love makes you control your anger, keep your irritable feelings in check, and refrain from doing something that will make your partner feel miserable.

6.

*Love Forgives * Love does not keep a ledger in which you enter all the wrongs someone has done against you, and bring them up whenever you have a fight. Love does not hold grudges; it does not keep a record of injuries done to it. It does not harbor resentment, brood over the insults you have received from your partner, and nurse your anger just to keep it warm.

Love forgets the past wrongs done to it. Human as you are the hurts someone has done against you will come to your mind from time to time, but you ignore those thoughts and determine not to bring them up and not to let them dominate you so much that you feel bitter towards your partner.

7.

*Love is Patient * When you love a person, you are willing to accomodate the person’s faults and weaknesses, to tolerate them even when they do things to hurt you deeply, and not to react angrily when he or she does something that annoys you.

Action Speaks Louder Than Words

Your actions towards your girlfriend, how you treat her every day, will be the basis upon which you will be able to answer the question.

From what I have told you above, love is kind. So if you have shone kindness to your girlfriend, you can use that as a reference to show her how much you love her. For example you may have bought her a pair of shoes, or a cell phone, or helped her solve a difficult Maths problem. You can point that out to her and make her understand that you did those things because you care about her so much, and it shows the depth of your love for her.

Or, you can point out to her the times when you have spent your time with her, the sacrifices you have made to be with her, or the times when you did not get angry when she irritated you, or the many times you have forgiven her for the things she has done to hurt you, and the many things you have done to make her happy, which are indicators of the fact that you love her deeply.

And then tell her you are prepared to stand by her in whatever circumstances of life you find yourselves, to protect, care, and cherish her above all other girls, and to make sacrifices of your time and money to make sure she feels comfortable and happy in life. Saying these things will reassure her that you indeed care about her, and that you are prepared to support her and be a faithful companion.