I do believe everyone is on this earth for a reason. Sometimes it takes years to realize why.

You write beautifully. Would you consider writing everyday? If your personality one, just start the day writing as that person, if it switches, then just say personality 2 is here, etc.

The medical profession is necessary, but they do not look outside whatever medical journal that they have read. I do not feel they have enough time or resources sometimes to deal with special cases. I speak from personal experience. My daughter was diagnosed with childhood fibromyalgia at 7. The medical treatment was to teach her how to deal with the pain so she doesn't turn towards drugs. This was the top 3 hospitals on the east coast. I truly wasnt ok with that diagnosis. I started researching western medicine. My daughter now has no pain from that situation.

Also, I highly recommend doing yoga. If nothing else, it can help calm each personality. If you research yoga+ptsd you will see how helpful it can be.

I do think the writings can help you. Maybe if you can figure out what triggers each personality, it can help you calm those triggers. Sometimes that ah-ha moment comes from stepping outside your comfort zone.

I also would post online to see if anyone has excess weed they can help you with. I know its illegal in my state, but maybe grow a plant or two.

I truly wish you the best and to find mental peace. I know you hate hugs, but if you ever get to the point that you feel comfortable to ever have one. Please know I would love to give you your first virtual hug.