Last time I was at Golden Corral it was a wild experience. My buddy Kevin and I liked to take advantage of the unlimited food so we would stay there and work for hours at a time while we gorged ourselves on plate after plate of lukewarm potatoes, weird, greenish-grey steamed veggies, and macaroni and cheese with the consistency of glue. For reasons I will never understand, Kevin was all about going there. He loved it. I would eat and deal with it but he would just go to town on that food. I think if you grow up eating processed garbage all the time it tastes really good - it's salty and fatty and nostalgic. Anyhow, we had been there for about 20 minutes and were just finishing up a round of food (my first plate, Kevin's fourth) when two enormous buffaloes walked in. I had never seen anything so big before... everyone turned and stared as they waddled inside. The hostess, probably too shocked to move, didn't even say anything as they pushed her aside to make their way straight to the buffet - they didn't go to a table or anything. I could hear the closer one breathing heavily and snorting as it pressed its face right up on the sneeze guard. It sniffed a few times and then incredibly stuck its face underneath it and started munching away. My jaw dropped. There was this enormous creature just standing there at the buffet at Golden Corral - no plate, no silverware, no table - face first into a vat of macaroni and cheese. It was almost majestic. Kevin finally looked up from his plate. Quietly, he folded his napkin, placed it on the table, stood up, and walked over to the beast. It didn't even acknowledge him standing there. He grabbed it by the horns and jabbed his steak knife right into its neck. The creature let out a great bellow and all 2000 of its pounds collapsed in a heap on the floor. The other buffalo, spooked, stampeded its way out the window and sent shards of glass flying out into the parking lot. Kevin, amazingly enough, then sat on the floor next to it. He spent the next 18 hours slicing off pieces of meat, cooking them under the heat lamps, and eating them. Nobody could even look away. When he was finished, there was nothing but skin and bones on the floor. He stood up, paid his check, and left. That was the last time I ever went to a Golden Corral.