Okay so I'm going to try and take this point by point.
1) So originally when we first started the divorce, we said that we loved each other but it just wasn't working. And at first this was true. He was a bad partner, but I believed he was a good person and I loved him. When he started treating me like crap, I told the people close to me (so those are the people I'm talking about when I say everyone knew). They told me he was just hurt, some of them were encouraging me to work it out. At that point he made me feel like I couldn't trust my perception of the situation and with people encouraging me despite knowing what was going on I went with it.
2)So as far as timeline. We separated let's say in April. We got divorced in early November. We were still very close initially after the divorce - talking frequently everyday, still seeing each other/hanging out. Apparently from what I understand (as I didn't look for this information) he was initially dating her after the divorce (which whatever that's cool) but he was still playing with my emotions - telling me how miserable he was, how much the divorce wounded him, how he loved me, dumping his emotional problems from work on me etc. Basically acting like we were still together while also still acting like a victim so he could use my guilt/pity. He is telling the same thing to his mother who is calling me regularly to complain about her poor baby.
And then one day he flipped out because I challenged his victim status, we then stopped talking after his tantrum. He then went on Facebook and made fun of me with his friends for being upset and standing up for myself. and then like a week later he apparently made it Facebook official with the other girl. It is a weird timeline. Because we didn't go no-contact it became very convoluted.
3)As I said this is in no way shape or form about his relationships. I don't care that he was dating someone else - even if he had been dating her while we were together I honestly don't care.
What I do care about was that he continued to manipulate me after the divorce pretending to be a victim, making me feel like I crushed him, and people knew it wasn't true and said nothing. Or like his mother, still blame me even though he was obviously not crushed and seeing someone else?