You really wanna be friends? Tell everyone you know the truth. I caught you having an affair while you were deployed overseas but you painted me to everyone you know as the "girl who couldn't take the distance."
Also about all the other times you cheated but I was too young and naive to put my foot down. And how you wouldn't stop doing drugs. And how you were "neutrally discharged," but they wouldn't let you back on the barracks to get your things for some reason. And how the reason you weren't calling at a certain point is because you were in jail for something about running drugs... While in the military. Which your dad had to tell me. But then you said your dad lied.
Honestly let's just not be friends.