I will tell you my story in the hopes that it will make you feel less alone. I, too, grew up in an incredibly shitty household. My mom was a junkie and never home. That is until she married my step father. For six years, starting at age 8 he would creep into my room, doing whatever he wanted with me. Things I will never tell in detail, but I have emotional AND physical scars from being penetrated at such a young age. They still hurt. I still remember. I was lost and confused. This is what daddy's do to their little girls, right?

As I grew up I became addicted to anything that would take the pain away, absolutely anything. My first boyfriend ever also took advantage of me when I was under the influence. I cried about it for days afterwards. I felt dirty. I hated my skin, and I wished I could shed it.

I was in therapy for 3 years trying to overcome my struggles and in and out of rehab. I lost countless jobs, had 4 suicide attempts, spent several months homeless sleeping in abandoned houses, and crashing on random couches.

I did it alone. Completely alone. There were days when I would look at myself in the mirror and fucking hate who I saw.

Here I am, 5 years sober, and out of therapy for a year. Happy, but I still struggle sometimes. I have a hard time opening up to people. I am afraid of dark shadows and untrustworthy men. I am terrified of being alone. I am afraid of being loved and loving in return.

I swear to God it will not be easy, but god damnit, IT WILL BE WORTH IT. You are a victim, I am a victim.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Please please please please please. Do not say goodbye. Do not give up on yourself.

I went through hell, so I could help others get through that hell. Reach out. When the darkness sets in and it seems easy to give in the voices in your head, KEEP FIGHTING.

Hugs to you <3