I am SO glad you posted this. I don't feel so alone in this bullshit that is dating in today's world. So it isn't just me???? You girls are seeing this shit happen to???
Since my short experience as a single woman, (few years, some dating mistakes) many pitfalls I've found. For example, I keep running into 5s.
Here's how my old relationship mind works: I was married for long term, sex was always on tap. I got used to it. It was no big deal in fact it was part of the lifestyle. You pretty much have that partner not just as a friend but a fuckbuddy all in one. It. Is. Awesome.
But that had to end. For other reasons. Life. yknow. I wish him no ill will in fact i wish him to get into recovery and be happy.
Anyways... moving on...
So newly single me thought whatevs, im single now surely i can manage.
Sure enough eventually some sex came along. I took it thinking what i was thinking before like i was in a relationship. I ASSUMED this person knew sex, has had sex and was ok with it and wasn't a judgy piece of shit.
RIGHT?
I thought it was norm these days. Right?
WRONG.
i get judged for being a bit liberal (with him) now that I'm single as if my long term history never happened. Like i wouldn't know what a relationship is or how to do it.
Like dude, i was the one who was married. For over a decade. Compared to some of these guys, I should get a badge at being capable of sustaining a relationship. That i'm not so wrapped up into myself i can handle being around another being for more than 24 hours without throttling them because they have human needs like farting, grocery shopping, pooping, eating, and doing laundry, hearing their struggles, being authentically interested in their life. You know, normal stuff?
Never mind strings attached - there's this giant judgy fucking rope attached to it.
Like dude, YOU were there. What does that say about YOU? Have you sustained a relationship for more than 6 months? were you in that person's space for more than the 12 hours overnight sleeping beside them after sex and brekky? Never mind boy/girls being different. or having different wants or feelings or needs.
We're people. People do relationships and outside of having an inny or an outy, we complain and compliment all the same about how relationships go. We all have insecurities and benefits that come from relationships. I know this. DO YOU????
None of these guys have had a relationship that lasted more than 6mths and they judge me for getting some strange with them. #5 just sucks a sack of assholes.