"If you sleep with him on the first date, he won't respect you and you'll ruin your chances at establishing a long term relationship"

What are your thoughts on these 5 points? Would you give this advice to the younger generation coming in behind you?

OP asked so i'll provide another perspective.

I disagree with the main thrust of where OP is going.

caveat: I'm going to make generalisations. As man and knowing other men I feel that more often than not the following are: reasonable axiomatic generalsiations that are true 51% of the time at least. 49% they are wrong. take it with a grain of salt.

  1. I agree. u don't want to make sex a bargaining chip. but the purpose of not sleeping with a man should not be to use it as a bargaining chip but as a form of protection for oneself. I am making a generalisation here: when a woman sleeps with a man she becomes emotionally connected to him. this should not be made lightly on someone who hasn't invested or committed in you. otherwise you might get hurt:

  2. I know guys who just want to sleep with a girl and then when it's over they never want to see her again. sometimes they will fake an entire relationship just to obtain sex.

Let's move on:

It assumes men are all horny animals and will have sex with you, provided you allow it. This is that same tired argument that women can get sex just by snapping their fingers.

i think it is much much easier for a man to get a woman to commit than the other way around. much easier. there are women who have trouble getting their man to commit to marriage, but generally speaking, i'm not sure if I know a single man who has had trouble getting their woman to commit to marriage.

of couse he can't snap his fingers, it's very hard, but the reverse also applies: much easier for a woman to get laid than a man. i didn't say it was easy. i said it was easier.

  1. i've only ever heard of women slut shaming other women. this is the only time i've ever heard it. usually brings them to tears.

i'm not a woman but all else equal im guessing a man who is rich is more desirable to a woman than a man who is unemployed has no money and no prospects. oh that's unfair and narrowminded but that's just how things are as a generalisation. same holds true in the reverse: a woman who has slept with 50+ guys is significnatly less desirable than a virgin bride. generalisation but 51% true. That's how it is. It's programmed in the brains of men everywhere.

  1. again men and women are fundamentally different: women carry babies for for nine months whereas men invest only 10 minutes and they are off. during the caveman days, women were essentially helpless. they can't fend off wild animals and hunt for food when they are 8 months pregnant. they need a lot of help during this stage. so there is a different biological imperative. women will therefore select mates differently to men. if a woman makes a bad sexual decision she will die. but if a man makes a bad sexual decision then he suffers no loss.

if a job applicant applies everywhere and is successful he is an absolutely hero. but if a hiring firm hires random people off the streets the firm is viewed as being stupid. same with women. that's why this sexual double standard exists:

if a woman is a virgin that is a good thing - she is pure and perfect and that is to be respected and admired.. on the other hand if a man is a virgin then that is DEFINITELY not a good thing. there is a double standard HERE TOO!!

  1. It's built into the mind of a man's brain: if a man has sex with a woman he hasn't commited to, then it can't be helped: he will lose a little respect for her even if he doesn't want to. he will insist that he still respects her but in the back of his mind, it can't be helped.

this is another perspective that is not mainstream. i hope another voice can add something to this discussion.

/r/TwoXChromosomes Thread