The last sentence here is what throws me off.

Arousal to violence (choking, spanking, etc) isn’t necessarily indicative of the potential for dangerous behavior. That’s usually just a hormonal response to actions that suggest domination / power over another individual, and that’s fairly common and arguably a biological response. But arousal to extreme violence, even involuntarily, (cutting, blood, murder, rape, etc) is very much indicative of someone who needs help. Not because it’s “shameful”, or because it means they’ll kill someone, but because that is a sign of trauma or desensitization that can escalate in other ways. If they’re not acting on it without consent I suppose it’s harmless enough, but the more you normalize things like that and adjust to it, the more extreme things have to be for someone to get off. For normal people, things like that could be entirely innocuous; but for someone with the perfect combination of psycho / sociopathic tendencies, a history of abuse, isolation, etc, that kind of desensitization to extreme violence can end very very badly for themselves and those around them.

I’m not looking to nitpick or shame anyone. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have some issues of my own. I just don’t like to pretend they aren’t issues.