If you were a superhero with a secret identity, what steps would you take to ensure no one found out who you were?

It depends how desperate I was to maintain the facade. I mean there are a few techniques that I'm sure couldn't fail, but would make my non-hero persona seem like a complete prick and alienate most if not all of my friends and family.

For example I could make sure to use my powers to save the lives of women, people with disabilities and minorities, whilst in my non-hero persona constantly rant about how "Women should be paid no more than 40% of a male wage because vaginas make them lazy, and how damn cripples should face compulsory euthanasia to prevent society suffering their indignity, and how those monkey-fucking negroes should be sent back to the jungle because they invented AIDs"

Then you'll get newspaper headlines like: Hero-Man Saves Gay Black Wheelchair Woman with a photo of me (In mask obviously) whisking her safely from harm whilst grinning and giving a thumbs up to the photographer. And on Monday it'll be the talk of the office...

Hey did you see the news? Gosh that Hero-Man sure is swell saving people's lives, and hey did you notice he sure looks a lot like Clive from accounts.

Haha, yeah right, I mean I see a physical similarity, but trust me it ain't Clive, he's a cunt. A nasty racist, homophobic, sexist cunt. I bet the only thing he saves are jars of his own piss, creepy bastard.

Meanwhile I will be sitting in my cubicle chuckling at my own cunning, and probably wiping the spit of everyone who passes out of my hair.

/r/AskReddit Thread