Maybe your friends don't reach out to you because your a sad whiny sack of shit? To be honest, I got annoyed of your bitching just by reading this. "He thinks taking 5 minutes between messages means he cares" what the hell is wrong with you? Taking 5 minutes to text you is normal and doesn't mean anything. Stop thinking people should live up to YOUR standards. People are just people. If you act negative and depressed people will not want to be around you. People don't want to hear your problems.
You have 2 choices: 1) Grow some balls and start being positive and optimistic, however hard that is. Remember, thoughts give rise to emotions and thoughts are controllable habits. 2) Kill yourself
I don't care either way. But don't be arrogant enough to think that anyone gives a shit either. Other than your immediate family no one cares.
You wrote this to be self indulgent and arrogant. It's funny how depression is often coupled with these. Know how I know? I WAS THE EXACT SAME. And it was MY fault. All of it. You admit all this is your fault and then you go on a vomit inducing rate that includes; "integrity, trying, honesty, weakness". Are sure this doesn't mean being a fucking weirdo who spills his heart out to everyone and wonders why no one wants to be friends with him?
You even indicate the answer in the end of your post. "You got to take responsility, like I haven't taken responsibility". Have you taken responsibility for your thoughts and emotions? And realised that they are YOUR fault? Thoughts are conditioned habits, thoughts give rise to emotion. Engage in bad thinking habits and indulge this bullshit and be depressed. It's your choice!
(DISCLAIMER: For all of you weaklings who almost cry when you read this; telling this guy "you just be you, forget those guys who don't respect your amazing integrity" is not going to help him. Let me repeat, NOT going to help him. Stroking his ego like he's just some damaged hero who is simply too moral for everyone else is fucking pathetic. It's okay to accept the fact you are a sack of shit CURRENTLY. Because the only way you are going to change it is by facing the fact.)