...more guarded with them than strangers...

Never is a strong word. I say that because time works on you. Somehow, some way. It's been 13 almost 14 years since I've spoken to one of my family and I think a little about it everyday. I feel a deep pain for some things, but I don't want to die completely unforgivable. What kind of person would I be? Not that my legacy matters....but it does haunt me currently that if I don't change then that is who I am.

After such a long time thinking about something you'd be surprised by the amount of philosophy and personal values come in to play. If you commit to digging into why you feel the way you do and then rationalize all it. Write about it. Ask yourself questions. Theorize why things happened the way they did. Try to change your perspective. Be practical.

If you really wanted...you could move away and cut ties completely. It is possible. Yet after some time you'll wonder about the person you really are. Are you the type of person who will eventually forgive someone for something they've wronged you for? No? Problem solved, cut them out. But it's not that easy, though.