I feel like I've been pretty lucky so far in my life, except for having a completely absent father and a mother that died when I was still a teenager. I managed to sort things out quite successfully even though I've had some hard times, and wasn't always taking care of me in the last few years. I really wish I had some luck in my love life, as I feel it's only important thing that I'm missing in my life right now.

I've been working so hard in the last year to improve things for me, and myself only. To kick my ass to get in shape, to buy really decent clothes, fix my apartment, work on my mental health, try to stay positive. People in my life (friends, colleagues) have been complimenting me so often, especially in the last few weeks, on how much I've changed. I've even been told that I radiate, that I have become magnetic, that I've become a new person that they've never seen before. Some even tell me that I've become a source of motivation for them. "How the hell do you do all this? I wish I had your motivation" And just tonight, three random really cute girls smiled at me on the street, and I wasn't day dreaming. It doesn't mean much, and it doesn't mean that they think that I'm cute or anything, but it's something that rarely happened to me before. I feel like the people who encourage me are sincere.

But for some reason I still struggle as hell to just have some attention from girls on dating sites and in bars. I wish I knew what the fuck makes it so hard for me to meet a girl that's genuinely interested in taking the time to know me. Somehow they turn away at the slightest thing they think that doesn't fit with them. All these people that compliment me, they tell me that with all the things I've done, it's just a matter of time before it happens, and that I gotta take their word for it. But they've had time to learn who I am. Obviously I can't convince girls to get to know me well enough to understand who I am.

I struggle to understand how so many people that are in relationships aren't even as happy or working their ass off as I am today. At some point, a girl, a guy took the time to know them and fell in love with them. Why can't this happen to me?

So I'm not a sad guy, nor a loser, but I'm still forever alone. So to these people who laugh at our so called unfortunate life and tell us that we don't have the right to be frustrated about our blight: YOU CAN GO TO HELL!