Thank you for your response.

Since the first time I met her we ended up having conversations about our interests, plans and stuff like that, so I guess that's the date/relationship direction in that respect - but we explicitly met for the sexual aspect without an option for more. Though after the 2nd time we met (soon after the first) she seemed to hint at potentially more being possible - a day before the lockdown began, thus RIP timing. She doesn't live overly far away but also not close (70 minutes driving), so the lockdown wasn't really possible to ignore (there were strict police checks on the roads and it was only allowed to go out to the supermarket or other essential things). Personally I need a personal connection else I'm not really enjoying it. For me, a big part of meeting again, was because there was a personal connection.

Physically we clicked, though there was a purely sexual focus, while sexually I'm more "feminine" (or at least how some women are). Namely I also need the emotional aspect and a general sense of safety, while during sexy time she almost purely sent sexual signals, which simple doesn't work for me. I'm most excited after having had a wonderful day with somebody and sort of naturally getting into it rather than as a goal. As a result I had ejaculation issues, as in taking very long to cum or not cumming at all, which did seem to make her feel a bit into the direction of rejected (though she liked things standing to attention for hours, but not too many hours). Already the first we met she basically begged me to cum after 4 hours, asking me to "help her". She wasn't angry or anything in that sense, but maybe more confused and slightly rejected. Though I told her why this was the case. (I'm able to cum a lot faster when being fully connected beyond purely the sexual aspect) The time I asked her on a date was in the morning after we spent 7 hours straight playing and she had many orgasms (that was also when she dreamed of me, told me I'm one in a million etc...) so things were amazing - but she was so eager to see me that she had forgotten about a very important thing (for her future) she had scheduled for that morning and thus missed it. It's there were we sort of got stuck, even though I've met her again after. All her fears and more came streaming out that day (under the pressure of having missed that important appointment). In some ways she seemed to already have figured out her future path, but I was essentially disrupting those plans. That day explicitly, as us meeting up had led to her accidentally missing that appointment, and implicitly also some of her future plans. While things probably already were delicate as she might already have been having thoughts about potentially more being possible between us. So I'm guessing that day was "too much" as all types of feelings and important things "exploded" out all at once. I think it might have caused her to have become stuck in anxieties/doubts/... and I'm not sure what I can do help with those as she's also keeping me at some distance, scared to fully let me in.