The message behind my post is simply this.

You don't 'have' to meet some kind of base criteria of being Transgender. You don't 'have' to do X Y and Z. You can do.. whatever feels right to you.

But, I say this as a "Classic Transsexual".. the ONLY reason you should even consider transitioning is because you can't do otherwise. Transition, with all it's medical, social, familial and legal elements, comes with a lot of negative baggage. Family problems, ostracism from religious groups, loss of friends, loss of respect, loss of dignity, loss of privacy, anxiety, worry, loss of career prospects, etc etc.

If you honestly can 'get by' with femmier shoes and a less butch haircut (or whatever 'a male, if only a little more androgynous' means to you) then, seriously, do it. If it'll get you through the rest of your life, then go for it. And if it turns out later that it's not enough anymore, then reevaluate then.

Being trans is something you can't change on a whim, and proceeding to transition isn't something casual. Sure, you can pick a femme name and start wearing dresses, and you can make that decision casually.. but.. here's the thing.

If you can choose whether to transition or not.. you shouldn't. If you can "want" to get these things, but not "need" to.. you're not someone who (in my opinion) ought to.

So, if you can just get by happily by femming up your presentation a little, going andro as best you can, go for it. If you need a little surgery or electrolysis to get there, by all means, if it's something you want, pursue it. If you feel very strongly that you want your genitals altered or removed, I certainly won't stand in your way.

But if you want my advice.. the least amount of change you can go through, and find happiness for yourself, is probably where you should start. If you want to keep your family, friends, church, job, and so on.