Not using a card. My husband has been trying to get home for the last 15 years. He misses his family. AGR jobs are extremely rare as they are very lucrative and most soldiers will keep them until they are too old to work. This job opportunity is a unicorn he's been hunting for a very long time. Keeping him in Kansas would be very sad, but he has said he will not go unless we all can go. He is prepared to move my ex with us and help him get established (ex is web developer and can work from his laptop anywhere). He is also prepared to pay to fly the kids out each time.

Believe me, I took my time working through the moral aspect of the move. Voluntarily taking the kids from their father kept me up at night the last few weeks after learning of this job opportunity. What finally helped me decide was thinking about what the father can offer the kids and what my husband's family can offer. These people produce rock stars. My husband is a very successful, high ranking officer in the military with seven combat tours. His siblings are all equally successful in their own industries. The kids' father was raised by his mentally disordered mother and struggles with mental issues himself. That's it for his family. And my family is not much better. I don't have contact with anyone except one grandparent. The kids will have a better chance of being successful with their step family surrounding them than their father's family or mine.

This may sound harsh and calculating, but as their mother, it's my job to make sure they become everything they possibly can be. I will take responsibility for flying them out to see their father as often as school breaks allow. I don't feel like a bad person, I'm just someone faced with having to make a decision.