-Hg during first pregnancy -Placenta previa (that resolved before delivery) that stole my sex life for 6 months. As in, I was not allowed to have sex,walk around a lot, lift anything, stand for long periods for 6 months. -my marriage almost falling apart and getting into huge fights -antepartum depression that was so severe I would stand in my closet with a belt around my neck and then stop myself from killing myself at the last minute. And didn't tell anyone because I didn't want to have HG in a psych ward. -complete detachment from my baby and actual anger at him the first few weeks of his life because of how bad the pregnancy was -resentment at my husband because of how traumatizing the pregnancy was -I'm finally happy and love my son and my husband and don't feel suicidal anymore and I'm not hoping to derail that with another kid. -still healing from the shame I feel about what happened during pregnancy and right after