Ambiversion.

I live vicariously an introverted life and love it. I do get out and show off my extroverted side. I'm not the life of the party but, hanging out with friends and associates is entertainment in itself.

I'm still in my 20s but I have lived a life of successful failures. In a way. I have a couple college degrees but at this point have chosen not to use them. I've experienced the lifestyles of the traditional job and it just isn't for me. I was once told to at least look like I was happy and join in on the incredibly awful jokes of business jargon. I couldn't help but laugh when I was told that. Like life at that point was one big joke. The pay was great but I am incredibly thankful for being let go in a big industry lay off.

For all of that, I am happy. I've been enjoying my unemployment for the past month and half after working in restaurants for a few years and working towards my next college degree and hopefully my last in a new, flourishing type of college program. I have a routine that takes up most of my time every day but is also different. I spend a couple hours catching up on shows, a couple hours of reading throughout the day, an hour or two on studying for school, an hour or two on my art, two hours at the gym, an hour on guitar, and the rest are relaxation and video games. I'm also always working on failed business beginnings. They say most people don't succeed with their first entrepreneurship.

I honestly don't mind not working. I wish my wife was more open to the idea of me staying at home and cooking and cleaning. The homemaker. Take care of kids when they come along in life. But I'll have to get a job eventually (happening sooner than later).

I love it though. Other than the gym, I maybe leave the house once a week. I don't eat out that much due to budget concerns and eat incredibly healthy. I think what contributes to this satisfying life is that I have a history of anxiety, depression, and sleep disorder. I can't sleep at night, even when I was a kid. And being awake at night is incredibly peaceful and quiet that I can accomplish much more without distraction. So many little things could contribute to my own anxiety. Driving, people's mannerisms, vocally displayed ignorance, even just noise in general can drive my anxiety up the wall.

I don't think my life is too complicated to enjoy and I being unemployed has really opened my eyes to budgeting. Spending way less than I was before. I can think of having money now for "entertainment" (eating out, going to movies, video games, etc.), having our own house, and travel a few times a year. Simple is really the thing now.

That's my rant I guess. What my life is now and what I am looking towards the future.