I was just pointing out that holidays don't rank above other events unless your orders say they do.

Hijacking OP's post for my own question ...

My ex and I had come up with a detailed visitation schedule (he has EOW +1weeknight) and submitted it to his lawyer to draw up. It wasn't overly anal, but included things like that the person who got our daughter for Christmas got the first half of winter break, and that he got her for a month in the summer, during which I was entitled to the same EOW schedule he gets through the school year.

The parenting plan I received back had been gutted: All the holiday and vacation language was replaced with vague statements like 'Vacation time to be divided equally'. The only explicitly assigned holidays are Mother's/Father's Day, Christmas and Thanksgiving - even the kids' birthdays say 'alternate as determined'. There is no language about when holidays start and end, so whether, for example, Thanksgiving includes the entire weekend is up in the air. As I said, the section where you prioritize events was deleted - 'Does not apply'.

When I asked he said he didn't know why his lawyer did that, but then in the same conversation he said he could tell I was trying to "screw him over" but he couldn't put his finger on it. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with me complaining about how much he was cancelling and this going down just after I freaked out that he cancelled his week at Christmas to go on vacation with his girlfriend. It kind of smells like he thinks if he's not committed to specific days, then he's got a free pass to only take them when it is convenient.

Anyway, this is my roundabout way of getting to my actual question: At first my lawyer was horrified by the empty visitation schedule, but the more she thought about it the more she thought it works in my favor. Would you agree that I've got the advantage because if we don't agree then it defaults to the residential schedule, meaning I get them? I don't intend to - as he says - "screw him over", but since he's of the give him an inch, he'll take a mile types, I'm also happy to have the upper hand.

I don't know how much longer this is going to be a concern, however. I met with our family therapist a couple of weeks ago and she gave me the 'it's not uncommon for a father to completely walk away in favor of his new family' speech. Lovely.