ahhh I see...my husband's ex has attempted to cut me out of things and my husband stands firm with the saying "We have shared legal custody and you do not get to dictate who our child spends time with during my parenting time." She was trying to control who child was with. She won't acknowledge that I'm my SS's stepmother. He added me to the school pick-up list (and added his dad as well). Mom added her friend. So there were 5 of us on the list. Mom of course listed her friend as the 3rd person to call should mom and dad not be reached, so we had to correct that to me, since I'm a parent and family lol.... Mom never argued it because she'd be told she was wrong by our lawyer. You have to follow up with your lawyer to call out mom on these things, even if it's minor. If you don't then mom will continue to be this way. Again, the school cannot tell you no and that "your (legal custody) doesn't matter." They will find themselves in a lot of trouble if they deny you your legal right to have your wife pick up your child. I know it seems like a minor issue, but the school and mom are blowing it up into a major one. Don't back down.