Damn near the same story, though my anxiety is/was so severe I've been alone for the better part of my life, dropped out at 17 too and I was already in online courses from age 14. At 21 I was also insistent with myself and others that I truly enjoyed this life, I spent years playing video games all day long damn near every day, didn't develop a single practical skill though I'd occasionally try to before quickly giving up. I thought it was great and the best I could realistically hope for in life, but one day I woke up and suddenly I was in my mid-twenties, same exact spot I was 10 years ago though a bit less naive and a lot more bitter, everyone around me making good money in their careers, marrying off, having children. I might still look it for now, but once I tell people my age they won't consider me young anymore. It's a surreal feeling, having made next to no progress in life, GED and driving license aside, the former of which is given to any semi-literate person that shows up and the latter is such a simple "skill" to learn that you're supposed to do it at 16.

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I've realized I'm not happy being alone, my parents are not in good health, nobody else in my extended family even acknowledges my existence anymore, my brother lives the life I wish I had growing up and has grown very distant. If I don't save myself nobody is going to. I want a normal, mediocre life, even living paycheck to paycheck sacrificing everything to the rent gods sounds heavenly right now, but it's so late to only just begin picking up the pieces and I've spent my entire life giving up on anything that was the slightest bit difficult that I can't catch a break. The few interviews I've been to have been total disasters, I simply have no answers for them, I'm such an anomaly who would take a risk on it? I took "time off" from the job search and dedicated this year to physically improving myself since there's little else I can do at this point to make others like me and give me a chance. You might feel comfortable for now and I think women have a lot more leeway in this regard, but that doesn't mean you might not deeply regret it one day. Time doesn't stop for you while you practice your escapism and your twenties are supposed to be the years you finally discover your independence in, for me that's only a dream and might always be. Employment gaps are such a huge sin and once it gets big enough how can you possibly explain it away?