I have no suggestions to you as I am in a similar boat right now. I used to feel the way you felt as things were not going as I had planned. I failed a lot. Took many stupid decisions. I saw sufferings and humiliation as opportunities to prove myself. I patiently tried my best to be positive, took a break, went on solo journey and changed my perspective of life. I started working on big goals in my life. Started working in a top company, making big bucks. I earned respect and travelled to many countries exploring cultures and places that I have always dreamt of. As I write this, I am travelling to one of the wonders of the world. But after all this feat right now, I am back to square one. Everything seems meaningless. I don't understand where do I go next or what should I do next. I look for new challenges but fail to draw motivation in anything. I don't understand why I feel this. This is a different type of mental conflict. I am not able to understand what is the purpose of my life. Mind you, I don't compare with my fb friend list or anyone. It's just plain feeling of desire to find something interesting that would bring back the spark that I had once. Until then, I am just dead from inside.