I had a friend I met through Reddit, who turned out to have cancer. We ended up becoming friends with benefits, exclusive, at his request. I liked him but I wasn’t in love with him. But I did like him a lot as a person.
Well, one of his last dreams he wanted was to have a threesome. I said I wanted one too, but only a MFM. We joked about it but he said he would be up for it, if we did a MFF first. I agreed.
So after a few months, we attempt to find someone, while continuing to hang out. He was busier than me, and lives far away so we didn’t get to see each other too often.
I was starting to feel like he didn’t really ask me much, or learn about me. I learned a lot about him. Even bought cokes so he’d have something to drink when he was over. And we’d talk, but I would miss the flirting like we did in the beginning.
At one point I thought he ghosted me and I asked if he’d delete my nudes. He was taken aback. Said he wasn’t ghosting, and we reconciled.
We started looking again and found someone who maybe wouldn’t flake out. We got to talking to her, and I started to feel a bit uncomfortable.
It should be said that I am a bit awkward when it comes to sex. Im all cool with partying and drugs, but I was never very promiscuous. I wish I were, but I like to sleep with people when I know I like them. Not in love, just that I like them as a person.
He’d had a very high number, mine is still in the teens. Even though I lost my virginity in my teens. We’re both early 30s.
So my solution was to have him spend a night with me. We had made plans to, but he always had something come up either work or health wise. I understood that.
But I was adamant that he stay one night so we could discuss the threesome and boundaries, all while getting drunk and high and turning each other on and getting excited for it.
He took it as me backing out. Called it a wacky request and said he was done. I assumed he meant done with me, and he said he needed time.
But we haven’t spoken since. As it turns out, the next day he got on his own account and messaged the girl that I wasn’t interested. (We’d had a shared account for this)
What really gets to me is that I know he’s stubborn, and he has no one in this country to really be there for him. And he knows for a fact his cancer is coming back. But I’ll never speak or hear from or see him again.
He had once told me that if I wanted something, to simply ask him because “men aren’t mind readers”. I thought me asking him to stay the night so I could relax my nerves was a small request he’d be ok with doing.
This threesome would’ve been a big deal to me, and I wanted to do it for him, but sometimes I felt he was pushy with how he went about it. And I did get frustrated at how he could text this girl everyday with no response, but was too busy to text me sometimes. And wasn’t willing to stay one night so we could make this happen.
It’s not the fact that I lost out on a threesome or a fwb. I genuinely wanted us to be friends, and thought that we were.
But it’s been about 3 weeks and hasn’t someone to me since.
I lost my friend. All because I asked for something I wanted. It’s really fucking with me. I will never again ask a man for anything I want. Ever again.