I had a super close friend (15 years+) who is white. About 3 months ago he (minorly) hurt his finger on something sharp and said "n*gger!" once, loudly. Muc hin the same way you or I would say "shit!" He knew right away he messed up, but instead of apologizing profusely, he played it off. I looked right at him, shook my head, and walked away. Haven't talked to him since. You might think this is harsh, but see, even if it was a "slip" of the tongue, it means it was in there somehwere. And almost definitely it's something he has felt fine saying on other occassions, in front of the right crowd. See what I mean?

And this friend guy has never been what I would consider racist. But, long story short, I did some thinking, and some digging (since we hadn't seen each other in some time), and come to find out, he now spends a lot of his time hanging around with rich, older white people. And he spends a lot more time with one rich guy in particular, that I happen to know has said some wildly racist shit before. and been called out for it. Finally it all made perfect sense.

I don't plan on talking to my friend again.